It’s normal to be very interested in sex and it’s normal to be only mildly interested in sex. It’s normal to want to try new and different things and it’s normal to just be happy with more of the same. It’s normal to have very romantic fantasies and it’s normal to have very sexual ones. The best advice we can offer you is this: just try to enjoy your sexuality. Don’t judge it and don’t compare it to other people’s sexuality or what you think you think you “should” be experiencing.
Body parts come in all shapes and sizes and colours. A penis, for example, can be long, short, fat, skinny, the top of penis could have a surrounding of skin (foreskin) or not, if the person was circumcised. The same goes for a vagina. They vary in shape, size, and colour – round, oval, big, small, light pink, dark red – there are endless variations and there is not one “normal” look for everyone.
Body-image or self-image is how you see yourself when you look in the mirror or when you picture yourself in your mind. It can be positive or negative, or it can change depending on how you feel that day.
In a world where movies, TV, the internet, and magazines try to dictate what’s “attractive”, it’s easy for someone to feel disappointed with the way they look.
This isn’t just a “teen” problem, and it doesn’t just stop there; human beings are obsessed with the way we look. Everywhere you turn someone is trying to sell you how you should look, what you should do, or the kind of person you should be.
Not “measuring up” can lead to negative self-image, where you don’t like yourself inside or outside. Some people get preoccupied with these standards and take drastic measures to change their looks.
When you’re judging yourself, it’s hard to believe that “it’s what’s on the inside that counts”, but, it is things like personality, confidence, strength of character, a sense of humour, or having a good heart will make someone look beautiful in your eyes, and you look beautiful to others- not the external appearance.
In fact, most people would agree that one of the most attractive qualities you can find in a person is that they are happy with their lives and happy with themselves. Others are attractive simply because they don’t buy into what everyone else thinks is attractive.
If you find yourself constantly worrying about your looks and feel like these emotions are taking over your life, it is important to talk with someone about it. Struggling with negative body-image and low self-esteem everyday can be overwhelming. It can also lead to risky behaviour or social isolation.
Your appearance should still be important to you, but don’t let it define you or control how you feel.
If you or a friend are using alcohol or drugs to escape negative feelings about yourself, engaging in at-risk sexual behavior, feeling depressed, thinking of hurting yourself, limiting the amount of food you eat, or exercising excessively, it’s important to ask for help; speak with a counsellor or someone you trust about these feelings.