Content
Trauma informed Consent
You may have grown up where there was neglect, danger, problematic substance use and/or trauma. Experiences of trauma can lead to unsafe behaviour and make navigating consent in a way that is realistic and safe for you difficult. It is important to be aware of how experiences of past or current trauma are affecting your present ability to navigate relationships, and to give consent to sex. The questions and recommendations under these principles for being trauma informed may be helpful to keep in mind:
Safety and trustworthiness
- Are you actively working to be safe and healthy in your life?
- Do you have a safe and trustworthy relationship with a friend or a family member? What is it that makes them safe and trustworthy to you? How can you apply the positive qualities of that relationship to the act of giving consent for sex?
- Be kind to yourself if you are not able to feel safe enough to provide consent.
Choice, collaboration and connection
- Are you staying aware of your feelings of safety and your ability to be centred in the moment, so you can choose to consent?
- Do you feel your choice about sex and the agreed upon limits are being respected?
- Is giving consent done together, where all parties provide consent in caring and respectful ways?
Strengths and skills
- Do you practice grounding, mindfulness or other safe coping skills, when you feel overwhelmed or find it difficult to manage your feelings? Use all the safe coping skills you can.
- Everyone has strengths. Affirm your strengths, talents and creativity. Seek out situations and people that affirm your intelligence, perceptions and self worth and avoid situations or people who are hurtful, harmful or demeaning.
For information about finding trauma-informed support, click HERE.